Christianity decision
First of all, I would like to tell you that conscious decision is very important. After learning the answer, keep making same mistake were to be part of Christianity core, please don't expect anything out of me.
I realized that my only conscious decision was to trust my friends. I believed they are on my side. And the next conscious decision was to change "destroy" Christianity to "change" the Christianity Major conscious and unconscious decision,I made was to help a guy. It really was a beginning of my Christianity journey.
He was in life big trouble and pain, being so torn and hurt by the news of accident of family, my intuition wasn't that sharp in 2007, yet I saw his family and or friends tricked him into legal marriage in order to save one family, and infant life he claimed it was his, I decided to stay in his life when, in case he needs help especially when he find out the baby might not be his. I tried to get out of the relationship many times,yet it was such tag of war every time I attempted to be out. It was because happened to be right after I prayed to God(god) appreciating saving my life from illness, and declared that if I see someone in trouble, I would do "anything" to help. Who would know my prayer was listened unless there was many hidden camera and bugs in my apt?( I am kidding here) it was just too weird "coincidence"for sure.
I learned a lot about "Christianity" this year especially when someone changed the word " Greg" into "Craig" on my web search.
not sure.what is list thing about? no one really explained that to me.I am here not to encourage reading too much into bible,so I have been in such a trouble. And I feel many Christian took advantage of my faithful nature imposing this living environment for long. Please stop that. If its based on my conscious decision, I would like to help you ALL.
What I know is that this my living environment does not allow me to make conscious decision of my own much knowing things when I do want to
In case you all care what I choose, here is my conscious answer:
If anyone designed this my living environment "consciously" playing God on me? whether,a person or an organization? they should declare they are the guy and please leave me alone.If that is the case, they are the first one to be eliminated from my world. restore everything they stole and took away from me and leave me alone.
I have been taking such pain living this life. I know that my info were all over online or other media both clothed or naked.(maybe) And I am a woman who feel depressed when raping takes place on me or anyone, yet many think I am tough enough like man of Jesus to put up such torture?
I know and feel that way every day despite the gag order in the community I live. I know that gag order is to protect whoever ruined my right as human, who distributed the image and things. from the cameras and bugs planted in my apartment and outside are supposed to be my "paranoia" and everybody knows me everywhere because of my "paranoia" so no one have to believe what I say and write. All of these put me in such uncomfortable life environment and making me so distrustful about people,yet they want me to be the one who is crazy and wrong so they can manipulate me and God? in old better method of Christianity?
whoever saw that and felt justified believing I deserved this living condition, those should be next to be out of my world. Yes those Japanese who believed that strongly, I am talking about you here
For the rest,I have no name to collect or distribute any "free stuff"other than contents on this blog but I am giving the answer and if you understand the intention and real meaning,I think you are already "in"
It really is autopilot by non physicals. I don't get to say much and I am not happy with both.
angels did not take human forms, and the manifestation takes humans form? not sure. It always takes non physical form guiding us each. Surely based on conscious decision, ANYONE can act like or behave,and even live like an angel if choose to do so by the conscious and, unconscious decision,but I know that most would not do that. It is hard. it is not easy to do the right thing yet we all could do our best time to time. That is where real blessing lies.
So here is second chance to each to make conscious decision on your own. If I give you one, maybe I get another to survive? maybe.
all I can say is thank you for those who come talking to me,even just hi, taking such a chance to do so in this world? all I know is that you had nothing to hide from me and it felt good just itself. So thank you.
Having such hard time trusting people lately. It is getting harder to trust nonphysical,too.
because if one act of helping were to be wrong decision of mine, I would have never had the revelation. Yet I did and all I witnessed was plan to protect those who betrayed me and all I feel is deception to hide the wrong doing as if it all was my fault and all I see in people is image of Jesus,sometimes, his name,cross, sometimes love,sometimes anger and frustration which I have trouble figuring out
So I keep asking What really is going on?
Where really is the Jesus at?
Chaos and nightmare got so big that no way fixing,so heading to self destruction?
thats how I feel. Having hard time praying appreciating God. Yet I don't know what really is going on.
I always know what I wanted entire my life. I wanted to live in environment feeling free and safe. safe to say things I feel, safe to get up in the morning without crying, safe enough to cry whenever I want to, safe to laugh without upsetting anyone safe to share good thing without being afraid of getting betrayed or stolen, safe to say hi, safe to say bye to anyone whenever I encounter. safe to be anywhere wherever without making anyone afraid of me or feeling uncomfortable. I found that. I had everything I ever wanted at one point of my life. I was healed from all the wound of life and thought I could be better, more powerful person, and when I started caring about other people's happiness before mine, I lost most valuable thing in my life because of all of you who didn't know the true value of things.. any animals are more lovable and understanding things than what I see in people ?
the life I live is life deprived all the security I feel and love I found in my entire life.
If this is the idea of your Christianity, I would gladly share this life with all of you in one form or another if that is your asking. things to do with the list or not.core of everything used to be love, but they took away from me. What do you expect?
I would like to know how and what happened while I was putting up this torture all alone.
My door is always open for people who want to discuss things.
most anything, I need time to recover, I need true rest and trust to people to be restored. Please help me.
this is my dare and also crying out for help
I believe people's life is valuable than other animal's life in many ways though it does not mean those animal's life values less. It is just different and life is valuable just itself and being a human,really is privilege if you know the true value of things that exist in this whole world.
First of all, I would like to tell you that conscious decision is very important. After learning the answer, keep making same mistake were to be part of Christianity core, please don't expect anything out of me.
I realized that my only conscious decision was to trust my friends. I believed they are on my side. And the next conscious decision was to change "destroy" Christianity to "change" the Christianity Major conscious and unconscious decision,I made was to help a guy. It really was a beginning of my Christianity journey.
He was in life big trouble and pain, being so torn and hurt by the news of accident of family, my intuition wasn't that sharp in 2007, yet I saw his family and or friends tricked him into legal marriage in order to save one family, and infant life he claimed it was his, I decided to stay in his life when, in case he needs help especially when he find out the baby might not be his. I tried to get out of the relationship many times,yet it was such tag of war every time I attempted to be out. It was because happened to be right after I prayed to God(god) appreciating saving my life from illness, and declared that if I see someone in trouble, I would do "anything" to help. Who would know my prayer was listened unless there was many hidden camera and bugs in my apt?( I am kidding here) it was just too weird "coincidence"for sure.
I learned a lot about "Christianity" this year especially when someone changed the word " Greg" into "Craig" on my web search.
not sure.what is list thing about? no one really explained that to me.I am here not to encourage reading too much into bible,so I have been in such a trouble. And I feel many Christian took advantage of my faithful nature imposing this living environment for long. Please stop that. If its based on my conscious decision, I would like to help you ALL.
What I know is that this my living environment does not allow me to make conscious decision of my own much knowing things when I do want to
In case you all care what I choose, here is my conscious answer:
If anyone designed this my living environment "consciously" playing God on me? whether,a person or an organization? they should declare they are the guy and please leave me alone.If that is the case, they are the first one to be eliminated from my world. restore everything they stole and took away from me and leave me alone.
I have been taking such pain living this life. I know that my info were all over online or other media both clothed or naked.(maybe) And I am a woman who feel depressed when raping takes place on me or anyone, yet many think I am tough enough like man of Jesus to put up such torture?
I know and feel that way every day despite the gag order in the community I live. I know that gag order is to protect whoever ruined my right as human, who distributed the image and things. from the cameras and bugs planted in my apartment and outside are supposed to be my "paranoia" and everybody knows me everywhere because of my "paranoia" so no one have to believe what I say and write. All of these put me in such uncomfortable life environment and making me so distrustful about people,yet they want me to be the one who is crazy and wrong so they can manipulate me and God? in old better method of Christianity?
whoever saw that and felt justified believing I deserved this living condition, those should be next to be out of my world. Yes those Japanese who believed that strongly, I am talking about you here
For the rest,I have no name to collect or distribute any "free stuff"other than contents on this blog but I am giving the answer and if you understand the intention and real meaning,I think you are already "in"
It really is autopilot by non physicals. I don't get to say much and I am not happy with both.
angels did not take human forms, and the manifestation takes humans form? not sure. It always takes non physical form guiding us each. Surely based on conscious decision, ANYONE can act like or behave,and even live like an angel if choose to do so by the conscious and, unconscious decision,but I know that most would not do that. It is hard. it is not easy to do the right thing yet we all could do our best time to time. That is where real blessing lies.
So here is second chance to each to make conscious decision on your own. If I give you one, maybe I get another to survive? maybe.
all I can say is thank you for those who come talking to me,even just hi, taking such a chance to do so in this world? all I know is that you had nothing to hide from me and it felt good just itself. So thank you.
Having such hard time trusting people lately. It is getting harder to trust nonphysical,too.
because if one act of helping were to be wrong decision of mine, I would have never had the revelation. Yet I did and all I witnessed was plan to protect those who betrayed me and all I feel is deception to hide the wrong doing as if it all was my fault and all I see in people is image of Jesus,sometimes, his name,cross, sometimes love,sometimes anger and frustration which I have trouble figuring out
So I keep asking What really is going on?
Where really is the Jesus at?
Chaos and nightmare got so big that no way fixing,so heading to self destruction?
thats how I feel. Having hard time praying appreciating God. Yet I don't know what really is going on.
I always know what I wanted entire my life. I wanted to live in environment feeling free and safe. safe to say things I feel, safe to get up in the morning without crying, safe enough to cry whenever I want to, safe to laugh without upsetting anyone safe to share good thing without being afraid of getting betrayed or stolen, safe to say hi, safe to say bye to anyone whenever I encounter. safe to be anywhere wherever without making anyone afraid of me or feeling uncomfortable. I found that. I had everything I ever wanted at one point of my life. I was healed from all the wound of life and thought I could be better, more powerful person, and when I started caring about other people's happiness before mine, I lost most valuable thing in my life because of all of you who didn't know the true value of things.. any animals are more lovable and understanding things than what I see in people ?
the life I live is life deprived all the security I feel and love I found in my entire life.
If this is the idea of your Christianity, I would gladly share this life with all of you in one form or another if that is your asking. things to do with the list or not.core of everything used to be love, but they took away from me. What do you expect?
I would like to know how and what happened while I was putting up this torture all alone.
My door is always open for people who want to discuss things.
most anything, I need time to recover, I need true rest and trust to people to be restored. Please help me.
this is my dare and also crying out for help
I believe people's life is valuable than other animal's life in many ways though it does not mean those animal's life values less. It is just different and life is valuable just itself and being a human,really is privilege if you know the true value of things that exist in this whole world.
