Gamble to be paid?

Gamble to be paid?

I started to believe where you are born and how horoscope is written are part of life plan as intended before the birth.

My recent realization  was that I was born to raise the bottom of Buddhism teaching. I was born in Japan where Buddhism teaching was dominant, where real Christianity had no root to grow good. Yet both case was prepared from the beginning in case one failed before the other.

The real gamble was whether Japan as country could do the right thing or not. As Buddhism dominated country, its teaching is about putting value on life itself, but irony is historically, suicide,killing self is considered to be justified and beautiful to protect superficial justification in this country. The sham was more dominant than life itself in this country. True meaning of life was neglected for long. teaching of Abraham was prepared to benefit to the both. When I found the teaching of Abraham, all I wanted to do was to be a translator to introduce their work to Japan. Although it seems to be an insurance to whichever it fail or excel, I believe it was idea prepared to spread being part of my life,being part of my life learning and achievement. It really means teaching of “Nonphysical”

In the year 2001,I had a surgery and Japan made a mistake making decision about concept of life and humanity. They just wanted to take advantage of things, in order to control things based on their non physical reading being read,yet their expectation was based on “BEFORE the “mistake” was carried out And they are still believing the mistake was “hidden”or didn't happen so they believe they deserve the benefit I might be able to provide if they could manipulate enough secretly and control to own people. To me, gag orders do not really mean much when I want to know something.The answer is that Buddism just cannot support the action no matter what.

In June, 2007, I had two job opportunities on the exact same day, after long recovery from the illness and rehabilitation. It was my beginning of my story finding Jesus itself and the story and agony is still ongoing. One job I applied was a job that allows me to work both US and Thailand where Buddhism teaching was dominant, another was store that was purely based on US. I was rejected by first one and employed by the second one. And yes, there was many “coincidence” that were related to Christianity from here, and I was led to the teaching of Abraham and was started taking unexpected journey of Christianity unknowingly . It was created by some other people, and it was the journey that was made out of people's wrong decision making. I was so blinded to figure out how people could live and act in a way taking advantages of things.

As far as I know, if Japan didn't make the “mistake”, my life path was totally different benefiting more people and myself in different ways.

I just followed guidance that existed withing me, and I am standing here writing this.

Well, the mistake was made, and I have been in my search to do the right thing to my heart. I feel I was betrayed by both religions, all the friends and family.

As my learning about Christianity, First it seems to be  about deception and lies? In order to control and to take advantage of situations and environment without getting caught. I guess Japan finally got the part of Christianity right? practice that to me for the first time was my bad luck as it seems when they had the opportunity to do so, Life sometimes really is filled with irony and sadness like this

Yes I am the fish caught by Christianity after thrown away from Buddhism by the simple mistake. despite the gag order and secrecy, I believe my inner being knows “everything” if I see one thing, that tells me more than a few possibility of fact. Many people might have been killed because of what I said and did? What I came to learn is that I have put too much trust on too many people. And there were many people who lost gamble believing I was the one who is blind about people and religions. I started to believe that spiritually blind people should not follow their heart, My advice to you all is do all that at your own risk. Sad fact is even if you doing things perfectly right, out of pure good intention, there is always hole to be fell and trap to be caught because no one is that strong or perfect all the time.

What if Japan didn't make mistake?

what I see is that President Obama was not elected and another president from bush family would have ended Christianity “naturally” It probably was autopilot both politically, religiously, socially, internationally,and It probably was at the individual level also. Well, but Japan did make mistake,so I ended up working for “change” to survive” I haven't felt the “love” for a long time. It was deprived from my experience and everyday, I feel constantly wanna kill myself, yet people just wonder why feel this way,so I am explaining Its because all I feel is depression about deception, lies, control and manipulation and gag orders. There used to be misunderstanding and bad luck involved,but I am not sure any more. Sometimes, people's love,  messing, making love, F ing, started perceived as all same to me which is not so good for my soul or my sense of being who I am and I am seeking my environment change for quite long time.
I am always hard worker.never been a good gambler.